Befuddled Fucking Dies
by valentinolol
Summary: yeah can i get uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh befuddled fan fiction?
1. chapter 1

The befuddled crew just ended recording season 2 episode 1 of befuddled, it was pretty shit tbh. they had some brony dude record it by streaming it to YouTube while playing tf2 or something, and they also had this fag named enigmatrix record but Val deafened him for like 30 minutes for a funny meme so it probably fucked the recording over lol. anyway ssf and val just recorded another podcast called 'Banned' with another crew and it was way better than befuddled

mun heard this news and was fuckin pissed, so he set out to shoot up Mexico until he found ssf.

Val was sitting on his phone like always because he was a fuckin loser when suddenly he got a discord notification.

it was Mun.

he opened the notification and saw a picture of Mike Matei and Inspector Gadget, before he could even process the picture his phone turned into a brown brick, surprised by it he dropped the brick that used to be his phone right on his dick causing him to yell in pain and die. Rip.

"1 down" Mun says before hopping the border into Mexico.

ssf was watching oney plays in the cardboard box in an ally he lives in.

suddenly he started hearing gunshots, "Aye carumba!" he yelled before he ran off like Speedy Gonzales


	2. ok

ssf was running as fast as he could, but it wasn't fast enough as he got shot in the leg by mun, mun walked up to ssf and said "How _DARE_ you betray me!? I'm gonna kill your spic ass and take over befuddled!" but before mun could pull the trigger he was tackled by somebody, ssf looked up to see who his savior was

it was Chef.

"DIOS MIOS!¿!¿¡" ssf said, "hey dude wanna fuck" chef said while unzipping his pants. they then had hot and steamy sex but when they finished they ran, a couple hours mun woke up and said "aw shit here we go again" and then the San Andreas theme played.


	3. val dies

_Val woke up, but he wasn't in his home, he was on a couch with an iPad 2 that had Minecraft PE playing on it, suddenly he heard a door open. he looked he saw Mike Matei completely naked; his 10 incher rock hard and dripping pre, "it's time to get fucked ghost boi" but before Mike could penetrate Val Inspector gadget walked in, "Mike what are you doing??? stop that lets play minecrap" "ok mate" Mike said, and then Val woke up in purgatory where he will spend the rest of his days and never appear again._


	4. Can i get uh

shitpost was at a McDonald's drive through "hey can I get a fuckin uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh big mac?" "food machine broke

"understandable, have a nice-" before he could finish the sentence mun broke his passenger door window and jumped in "listen u trap loving queer you're gonna help me kill the befuddled crew" "ok but let me get my food first"


	5. ssf and chef escape from mexico

Chef and ssf had been walking for about an hour when they finally made it to the border of Mexico, all they had to do was hop it and they'd be able to live, "alright ssf, I'm gonna boost you up" chef said, but as chef was boosting ssf up they heard a car coming "Maybe they could help us!" chef said, but then shitpost and mun rolled up, shitpost eating a big Mac and mun looking at goth girls, mun looked up and pointed the gun at ssf and chef and said "HANDS UP FAGGOTS!" ssf and chef put their hands up, then they heard another car coming "what the fuck" they all said right before another car, painted to look like sonic the hedgehog tboned shitposts car, killing shitpost instantly, chef and ssf cheered "Philip!!" and they went up to his car to thank him, only to find him dead as well. "aw shit, well let's hope this border and go get Val" chef said, "you think mun is dead?" ssf asked, "probably" and then they hopped the border.


	6. ssf and chef go to vals house

mun woke up in the car, though he couldn't see anything through all the smoke, once it cleared he looked to his left to see shitpost and Philip dead "fuck, the world just lost 2 traps" before he got out of the car and hopped the border to find ssf and chef.

 _\--ssf and chef--_

they were at Val's house, looking at his dead body and the brown brick on his dick.

"what do you think happened to him ssf?"

"it looks like a murder"

"who do you think did it?"

"idk lol"


	7. avoidant personality disorder

mun was walking for what felt like hours, but he was finally at Val's house where he sensed ssf was, after all ssfs Mexican stench could be smelled from the other side of the world. he busted the door down with his foot, and started looking for ssf, he heard him and chef talking, "idk lol" he busted down the door to Val's bedroom to see chef and ssf picking up Val's body, "RUN" they both shouted in unison and jumped out the window with the body, and got into a truck parked on the street. ssf hotwired the car because he knows how to for some reason and they sped off "GODDAMMIT" mun yelled, "keep it down over there I'm trying to get everyone's atrention!" someone said, he looked in the direction the voice came from and saw a man in a Fluttershy t-shirt, and saying that he couldn't take it anymore. mun walked up into him "what's your problem?" "I have avoidant personality disorder-" he was cut short when mun shot him in the face "the less bronys there are the better" and he went in the direction ssf and chef sped off in.


	8. Befuddled Goes To Russia

"where are we going chef?"

"we're going to bring Val back to life with the power of the 7 chaos emeralds"

"where are we gonna get those?"

"Russia"

before they knew it they were on a plane to Russia, chef was in the window seat, ssf was in the isle seat and val was in the middle seat wearing a pair of sunglasses to make it look like he was sleeping. little did they know mun was in the seats right behind them with shitposts dead body also wearing sunglasses, " _im gonna bring shitpost back to life with the chaos emeralds and kill you cunts lol_ "

they landed in Russia about 17 hours later, when they got off the plane conf was waiting for them with the chaos emeralds "idi nahui let's go to my house and bring this blyat back to life" he said after drinking some vodka, they got into confs car and drove out the airport, mun got a taxi and asked the driver to follow them.


	9. befuddled goes into another dimension

after a very Russian car ride the trio and dead body arrived at confs house "ok cheeki breeki we have to go to another realm to get the chaos emeralds"

"how the fuck we gon do that nigga" chef said

"I have a machine that travels through realms"

"oh ok"

they went into confs house while muns taxi pulled up in front of confs house "give me pay you filthy American" the driver said "nah" and mun shot him, got out of the taxi and carried shitpost's body bridal style and snuck into confs house

"it's in my basement" conf said while leading everyone into the basement, ssf got tired of carrying Val's body and just threw it down the stairs, everyone said lol and moved on and saw the machine, it was pretty much the portal from the Phineas and Ferb movie, "ok let's go" conf said "wait, is this safe?" ssf asked, "stop being a pussy" chef said and jumped through the portal and everyone else followed, a couple seconds later mun came into the basement holding shitposts body and also went through the portal


	10. Befuddled Make a Filthy Friend

when they came out of the portal they were in a very run down apartment, the kitchen was covered in ramen and it looked like it hadn't been cleaned in months, the living room had clothes scattered all over the floor.

"where are we?" chef asked "shit, we must've not had enough chromosones to get to the right realm" then an Asian man with pink skin came out of the, "ey boss"

"who the fuck are you?" ssf asked and the pink guy just started making un-typable noises before another asian man came out of the bed room wearing glasses, a very dirty white button up, shorts and sandals "What are you doing in my house?" he said, his voice sounding like he had throat cancer "we-uh we're from another realm, we're looking for the 7 chaos emeralds to bring our friend back to life." chef said, pointing to Val's body that is currently being carried over ssfs shoulders "so why are you here?" the man said "we didn't have enough chromosones." conf said

"well I think I have a way to get you your chromosones to get your friend back, but why do you want him alive? he looks like a faggot."

"he is." the 3 said in unison

"uh, well my name is Frank" he held out his hand and they all shaked it "this is pink guy." "gibe pusi pls b0ss" pink guy said

before anyone else could say anything mun came through the portal holding shitpost "ALRIGHT EVERYONE PUT YOUR HANDS UP" and everyone just laughed because he was carrying a dead trap "oh uh shit." then Frank opened a portal that looked like it was drawn in MS Paint "follow me!" and the 4 of them the dead body went through the portal, leaving mun and shitpost's corpse in the apartment "I hate my life."


	11. couldnt think of a chapter name lol

Mun was standing where the portal was, trying to figure out how to re open it when someone bursted through the door, "YO YO YO ITS POLITIKZ IN THE HOUSE" he was wearing a flat top hat, sunglasses, gold chains, a coat and saggy pants that were way too low on his thighs. "Who the fuck are you?" "nigga i just said my name is politikz" "oh okay well-uh" mun reached into his coat and pulled out a sawed off shotgun and aimed it at the wannabe gangster "tell me where Filthy Frank is or ill blow your white ass all over the wall" "shit man i don't know i came here to find his bitch ass, nigga owes me 25 dollars" "well then you're no use to me and my trap friend" mun squeezed the trigger and shot, except politikz wasn't there anymore, he just vanished out of thin air "what the fu-" before he could finish he found himself being choked out by the gangster before everything faded to black.


	12. a shitty joke

Mun woke up on the sidewalk next to politikz, he tried to get up bt his arms and legs were tied together

"what the fuck dude what kind of kinky ass shit you into"

"what? nevermind, we're waiting for a cab. im taking you somewhere special"

"why arent you talking like a gangster anymore?"

"Thats not important. Oh here comes a cab"

politikz whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror if anything he could say this cab was rare but he thought "nah, forget it. yo homes to bel air!"

sorry 4 short chapter lol 


	13. Chapter 13

meanwhile with chef, conf, frank, ssf and vals decaying body came out of the portal and landed in a giant field, everyone was looking around before chef spoke up

"where are we?" he asked frank

"Welcome...TO THE RICE FIELDS MOTHERFUCKERS"

"do you have to be so loud jfc" said ssf

"yes i do. there are chromosones here for you guys to use"

"couldnt you have just took us to the location of the chaos emeralds?"

"the chaos emeralds are scattered across 7 realms"

"why?"

"because during the vietnam war they were all stolen"

"who stole them?

"well, the green one is in possession of barack obama who obtained it during his presidency"

"thats our first stop then." chef said

"ok, but we gotta get you guys chromosones first"

so they followed frank in the forest where all these sparkling plants were, they looked like roses and they were rainbow colored like the pride flag.

"what are these things?" the mexican asked

"these are chromosones. they are the thing that powers memes, motivate people to make and force them. they are also a power source, a shitty one too"

"so do we just pick them"

"yeah lol"

they picked 7 chromosones, one for each emerald.

"that was easy" 


	14. Chapter 14

meanwhile politikz and mun were in a cab heading to bel air.

"Hey my dude where is my boy shitposts body at?"

"his body? nigga he aint dead after i knocked your bitch ass out he became woketh and ran outside in panic, i have no idea where dat nigga is"

"WHAT"

*somewhere in new york*

'what the fuck dude i just wanted a big mac how did i end up in new york tryna ice my homies' shitpost thought as he waited in line at mcdonalds

*back at the cab*

they pulled up to the house about 7 or 9 and politikz yelled to the cabbie "yo home smell ya later" he looked at his kingdom, he was finally there to sit on his throne as the prince of bel air.

politikz pulled a key out of his pocket as he walked up to the door of the house with mun on his shoulders

he then put the key in the door and unlocked it and opened it like a normal fucking human being what did you think he was gonna do

he walked in and set mun down on the couch

mun looked around 'this place looks like a crackhouse lmao' he thought 


End file.
